so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
