K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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