You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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