whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
