We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
