at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just high enough for therapy.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
