Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
