Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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