i permit you to call me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
