so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
