Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
