doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize