I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
