You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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