Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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