trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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