The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
