True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He did a backflip because drugs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
