We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
