Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize