Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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