I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
