she woke up with a sticky ear
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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