how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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