This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
