He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize