maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
