Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize