I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
