We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize