I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize