i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
