using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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