K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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