So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
