its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
