I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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