he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
