I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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