He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
