Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
