my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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