no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
