we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
