He uses pillows to masturbate.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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