I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
