Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
