I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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