I hate all girls vehemently.
People in love make me want to vomit
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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