He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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