Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think people are normalizing furries
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
