if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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