I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
