Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
3 2 1 whiskey
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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