the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
