That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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