Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
